Some thoughts on love in marriage:
A relationship between a husband and a wife is like a garden; if it's to thrive, it must be watered regularly, with weather hazards taken into account, such as any unpredictable draught or storm. New seeds must be sown, weeds pulled out.
Love’s Springtime
The Hadith says, ‘Nothing is better for those in love than marriage.’ The beginning of love is its springtime; this is when you feel you’ll be happy forever.
During that time, you find excuses for your partner's mistakes; you may be unable to see the mistakes. But this changes.
Love's Summertime
Eventually we realize that our partner is not as perfect as we thought and that we have to work on our relationship. Now remember the advice of the Hadith:A believing man [husband] should not hate a believing woman [his wife]; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another. This teaches us the tool of tolerance that is needed to make marriage work. Many couples become disillusioned and give up working on the relationship.
Yet, no one wants to live in summer forever. So gather all the wisdom to go through this stage and reach the tranquility, mercy, and love mentioned in the Qur’aan. How?
n Open your heart and give your partner the benefit of doubt; stand in your partner's shoes and try to see things from his or her perspective.
n You will not be able to change someone. All you can do is provide a favorable environment for your partner to want to change.
n Invest in this family. Paradise is worth your best effort. Allah made making the family happy an important mission. The Hadith says: If a woman prayed the 5 prayers, fasted in Ramadan, protected her honor, and obeyed her husband, she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): Enter Paradise from any of its (8) doors.