Islam gave a wife freedom to foster an informal relationship with her husband, allowing her to vent her emotions without fear of reprimand. This gives her mental space, freeing her from a sense of claustrophobia.
Let us look at our pious predecessors:
SHOUTING
Umar (radhiallahu anhu) used to allow his wife to shout him. At times some of the wives of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) used to become seemingly ‘displeased’ with him.
Aeysha (radhiallahu anha) is reported to have spoken in a loud voice to him and he did not stop her or become angry. The freedom to act like this is an indication of the openness in the household of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) and his wives knew he wouldn’t get angry.
JOKING
Once Ali (radhiallahu anhu) jokingly recited a poem in criticism of women before Faathimah (radhiallahu anha):‘Verily, women were created as Shaytaans (devils) for us. We seek Allah’s refuge from the evils of the Shaytaans.’
Faathimah (radhiallahu anha) replied:‘Verily, women are like the Rayhaan (sweet basil) flower created for you (men). And all of you are inclined to the fragrance of the Rayhaan flower.’ [At-Tableegh, v20, pg108] Look at the loving informality, the lack of emotional restraints.
The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) told Aeysha (radhiallahu anha) that he knew when she was displeased with him when she said ‘By the Lord of Ebrahim’ in her conversation. When she was pleased she used to say ‘By the Lord of Muhammad’. She replied it was so but that she only left out his name when she was angry, he was still in her heart.
SUSPICION
Aeysha (radhiallahu anha) had intense love for the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) but at times she used to become displeased with him and he allowed it because it was driven by love.
One night, when he left the house silently, she followed him suspecting that he was going to another of his wives and he did not reprimand her.
There are many more incidents showing that Islam gave freedom to wives in every sense, to speak and act freely in her palace: her home.
Magic in Marriage
