Feelings change with time. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant work. This is the Prophetic recipe to keep love fresh:
Lightheartedness: the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam found time to go to the desert and race with his wife Aisha (radhiallahu anha). Relaxation: the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam took his wife to watch the Ethiopians training with weapons.
Emotions: you will be rewarded for any emotions you show to your wife. A Hadith says: ‘one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife’. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.
Prayer: find time to pray together. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together.
Best behaviour: Try your best to be good to your wife. Talk to her, smile at her, seek her advice. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said ‘the best of you are those who are best to their wives’, and he sought their advice.
Beyond death: It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family and loved ones must become your loved ones. Love should continue after death where those who did good in this world will be joined by their spouses (Qur’aan 43:70) and offspring. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam’s love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years extended to all those she loved and continued even after her death. Whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to her family.
Shaykh Abdullah Adhami
