Many spouses treat each other like enemies rather than partners. The husband feels he’s the boss, and whatever he says goes. The wife feels she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives never show their husband that they are satisfied with anything he does for them. They make him feel like a failure if he doesn’t give them the lifestyle their friends and families enjoy. Some husbands speak harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them.
The following are some tips which can be used by Muslims whose marriages are already in trouble or who would like to avoid trouble in their marriage.
Show appreciation for what your spouse does for the family. Never make your husband feel that he is not doing good enough or that you are not satisfied with his efforts. Show your wife that you appreciate her. If she takes care of the house and the children, don't take it for granted. It’s hard work, and no one likes to feel unappreciated.
Be your spouse's friend. Show interest in your mate's life. Too often, we live in the same house but know nothing about each other's lives.
Never be emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to your spouse. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) never mistreated his wives. He is reported to have said: 'How could they (husbands) beat their women in the day as slaves and then sleep with them in the night?’
Be available to your mate sexually, and don't let your sexual relationship be characterized by selfishness. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) was reported to have said: 'It is not appropriate that you fall upon your wives like a beast but you must send a message of love beforehand.’
Many of us treat our spouses in ways that we would never treat others. With others, we try to be polite, kind, and patient. With our spouses, we often do not show these courtesies. Of course, we’re usually with our spouses at our worst times: when we are tired and frustrated after a hard day. After a bad day at work, husbands usually come home on edge. The wife has probably also had a hard day with the children and housework. Spouses should discuss this potential time bomb so if they are short-tempered with each other at these times, they will understand the reasons rather than thinking their spouse no longer loves them. Not speaking about this can lead to frustration. Furthermore, spouses need to act upon Islamic injunctions regarding anger and controlling it. `
MARRIAGE: BACK ON TRACK
